Cartoon Whores Created; Sponge Girl Blamed
Having recently returned from her puppetry experience, Sponge Girl has now had to face the abomination that formed during her long absence from the public eye.
Paris and Nicky Hilton are due to feature in a cartoon dedicated to their vacuous lives. Child protection groups around the world have blamed Sponge Girl for not being there to prevent the creation of Cartoon Whores - a program which will undoubtedly damage children's development for several generations.
"I'm happy for her that she's been busy, and obviously Federwhatzisname dropped the charges and all that, but really there's no excuse for letting down the kids of the world," commented a placard-waving mother, who wished to remain anonymous.
Speaking on behalf of Sponge Girl, Natalie Portman commented: "It is awful, no doubt about it. I mean, calculated nip-slips and vaginal flashings just don't belong in kids' television. Spongie does feel that had she been alerted to the project earlier she could have prevented it somehow - maybe by slicing off Paris' annoying head - but in reality she can't be everywhere, and I don't think anyone would argue that she should have shunned her responsibility as chief puppeteer to kick some heiress butt. You can't just leave a project like that, and no-one but Spongie could make Sam "Da Man" Jackson sing in a falsetto, no-one."
When asked what Sponge Girl was planning now that the cartoon was already in production, Ms Portman replied: "Well, I can't give you the details, obviously, but if we can arrange for a South Park cross-over, and then close the portal before Paris and Nicky can return to their own world, we should be fine. Cartman would fuckin' eat them alive."
In other news, the Cartoon Whores characters will also star in the new line of VagWedge adverts, and in return the product will feature in the first episode of the controversial series - with an option for many more. According to Ms Holmes' and The Hiltons' spokespeople the close collaboration between the program and and the vaginal flossing device is a simple run-of-the-mill advertising excercise, and nothing to do with the lot of them being nuts.