Saturday, July 08, 2006

Walliams: Overlord of the Universe?

Sponge Girl, domestic goddess and pop icon, has congratulated actor David Walliams for being the coolest person alive. She reported that Walliams, who recently swam the English Channel in excellent time for the benefit of charity, was "probably the most magnificent person, like, ever".

"Of course, we've known each other for a long time - ever since the year 2000 Dover Celebrity Bake-a-thon, I think. We've never been really close, but we're on each other's Christmas card list, you know, and obviously he's the first person I turn to for stain removal tips. But even for all his well-recorded magnificence, I never thought he'd be able to do this. I'm really going to be pushing for having him made the Overlord of the Universe for this, and I hope I can get as many supporters as possible," enthused the pixieish vixen.

The Overlord of the Universe is of course a so-far nonexistent position, but Sponge Girl is hoping to create it before Tom Cruise thinks to appropriate the idea.

Mr Walliams commented only briefly, saying: "I'm quite flattered. But can you tell her to stop borrowing my shoes? My feet are really cold."