Sponge Girl Controls Snakes (On A Plane)!

Sponge Girl's recent absence from the public eye has been explained by her key role as chief puppeteer on the set of Snakes On A Plane.

Snakes On A Plane, the great epic of our times, tells the touching story of a bad-ass muthafucka (played with customary poise by Samuel L. Jackson) just trying to do his job, when (poisonous) snakes are released in an (airborne) aeroplane - threatening Christmas and democracy with their slithering ways. Producers have been trying to disguise the film as harmless, silly fun - but academics around the world have suggested that the film is in fact a meaningful political allegory. Some think the snakes represent Evil, with Mr Jackson representing America, while others suggest the snakes' illegal occupation of the plane suggests a biting commentary on the non-war-everything's-going-fine-I-tells-ya- situation in Iraq.

Sponge Girl would not comment on the political undertones of the film, but was happy to talk of her role in creating the masterpiece.

"Well, given that all of the snakes were animated in post-prod, as chief puppeteer it was my job to make sure there was a performance of The Lonely Goatherd every evening at the end of shooting. And although I generally don't like stars making these outrageous demands in their contracts, I must admit I thought it was kinda neat that Sam specifically wanted puppet theatre, and not ocean-scented toilet paper or thinly sliced ocelot for breakfast or something like that. It was great fun - I coordinated the rotation of roles right from Girl In Pale Pink Coat to Baby Goat and made sure everyone knew which way to pull the ropes."

Continued Sponge Girl: "And let me tell you, yodelling every night for three months really taxes your voice. Imagine, after the first week I was so sore I couldn't even manage a friendly 'up yours' when I bumped into Tom one evening. Fortunately I'm better now."