Wednesday, February 15, 2006

There May Well Be A God: Sponge Girl

As rumours of Katie Holmes' and Tom Cruise' break-up spread, friends are reporting Sponge Girl to have acquired a shimmering aura, and a more peaceful, forgiving outlook on life.

"When she first heard about the split, she just looked so... happy. You know that bit in Blackadder where he tells the Prince Regent that he could never, ever be the Scarlet Pimpernel? And then Hugh Laurie does this insane, happy incredulous look? Well, that's what she looked like," explained Natalie Portman, who had been present during the revelation.

"Then there was, like, harp music, and then Sponge Girl spoke in what could have been Aramaic, but I'm not that good with languages, so it could just as easily have been early Greek".

Sponge Girl has reportedly been celebrating continuously since the news spread, curing lepers along the way. Though she has denied she believes there was any divine intervention in the break-up process, some sources claim that Sponge Girl herself may well be God, and all of humanity should bow down and thank her merciful grace for allowing the darkness to end.

7 Comments:

At 00:08, Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

My thoughts exactly SS! Hmmm... and we Ladeez were not told? Now, about that list...

 
At 04:42, Blogger Ballpoint Wren said...

Sheesh, Sponge Girl, keep this kind of miraculous stuff up and the Scientology Pharisees will start gunning for you for sure!

 
At 00:41, Blogger Mirri said...

Sponge Gal is indeed almighty. You'd think that some of that divine stuff would be in the genes, and thus a lowly lil sis might get some of the godly qualities, but nope.
Though I can do a weird bendy thing with my fingers.

But I'm not sure that counts as divine.
Dammit.


...though it still looks cool.

 
At 06:16, Blogger Doug The Una said...

Has anyone checked A. Spo's knuckles for tattoos?

 
At 04:31, Blogger Kay Richardson said...

oooh spongey

 
At 10:49, Blogger Sponge Girl said...

ss - You should know I neither deny nor confirm anything...

MizB - really, there was no reason to tell anything. You should know that being a goddess is a prerequisite for being a Ladee - and I don't like stating the obvious.

wren - very true. The amount of angry messages I've received saying I can't be all-powerful because I'm not carrying The Beast's baby is really quite frightening. And them's just the plebs of the Scientology world...

Mirri - weird bendy thing has the awesome power of Cringe Inducement. Even the allmighty crumble at the sight of such abomination. Fingers aren't supposed to do that, mmmkay?

doug - I believe the more accurate question would be - has anyone ever gotten close enough to Sponge Girl's knuckles and lived to tell the tale? Chuck Norris tried once, but he promised never to reveal anything if I gave him his testicles back.

kay - oooh at me anytime. Please.

 
At 01:03, Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Shhhh.... I know, I know! But were I to let on all would know the truth about the Ladeez being goddesses and we cannot have that now can we? Imagine the chaos!

 

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