"Feed Nicole", pleads Sponge Girl

Sponge Girl has mounted a world-wide "Feed Nicole"-campaign after meeting with estranged friend Nicole Ritchie, a 13-year-old orange boy.

A distraught Sponge Girl told Cosmopolitan magazine that a recent reunion with the emaciated Ms Ritchie was more a shocking eye-opener than a "nice little bitch session about Paris".

Confidantes have revealed that while Ms Ritchie and Sponge Girl used to be close friends during their True Love Waits years, the pair had since drifted apart for unknown reasons - though some have speculated the split to have been caused by "a combination of Nicole's moral poverty and Sponge Girl's unrelenting intellectual snobbery". It is said that their recent meeting was due to Sponge Girl wanting to mend their frayed relationship.

A member of Ms Ritchie's posse, who was present at the meeting, was able to give more details than the tearful Sponge Girl.

"She, like, looked at her all stunned an' stuff and then said 'Nic, sweetheart, look at yourself. Listen, the line between looking gorgeous and looking dead isn't fine at all - and I don't care what Mischa says!' - that's when Nic's pants fell off - y'know, with her not having hips an' stuff".

The horrified Sponge Girl is known to have left hurriedly, without even touching her moccha.

Putting down the Kleenex just long enough to produce a coherent sentence, Sponge Girl urged people to do their best to provide Ms Ritchie with food. "Donuts, nachos, Hershey bars, bananas, stir fry - anything you can get your hands on. "

When asked how people would be able to feed Nicole Ritchie when she seems so incapable of it herself, Sponge Girl stated: "It really won't be a problem. She's at the stage where her skin will actually absorb food if it's not provided internally. So, just pelt her with random foodstuffs - it'll work just fine".