Thursday, January 19, 2006

Sponge Girl To Be Katie Holmes' Bridesmaid?

Rumours are flying around that the soon-to-be Mrs Cruise has asked Sponge Girl to be one of the bridesmaids at her wedding, alongside Dakota Fanning.

A friend of Katie Holmes has said the actress feels her relationship with the most annoying man of all time has not been taken as seriously as she had hoped ("I told her she was going to regret turning down Christian Bale", added the friend), and having a luminary figure such as Sponge Girl so closely involved with the event would lend their farcical wedding some much-needed credibility.

"Of course, it's going to be a Scientology wedding, so it'll involve prayers in Alien-language and a ritualistic denial of all scientifically proven knowledge under the Sun, which Katie thinks is incredibly romantic. Then again, she's been a bit off her rocker ever since she got it on with Pacey", mused the friend.

"Sponge Girl hasn't replied yet as far as I know. It's not quite guaranteed that she'll do it, though. You know, what with her actually being allergic to Tom - a really rather violent stabbing reflex - and never having spoken a word to Katie apart from 'Why? For the love of God, why?' before Tom's heavies, well, 'removed' her from the engagement party."

Sponge Girl has evaded reporters of late and as such no comments on the topic are available, although she has been seen meeting with Nicole Kidman for a friendly drink and a spot of voodoo. Chris Klein has sometimes been included in the happy group.

11 Comments:

At 04:56, Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

DON'T DO IT I SAY! DON'T DO IT!!!

It is absolute PR death! Not to mention those Scientologists.... hisssss, hissssss, says Catty Yummy Mummy...

I hear hypnosis is starting to work wonders with Scientologists...

RUN!!!!

 
At 08:18, Blogger Minka said...

Thank YOU! I never understood what all the fuss is about Tom...he is small and so not cool. I always liked Katie, even when she was in Dawson´s Creek...there is something naturally sweet about her that I adore. But her latest attachment also proves her blindness. Why can´t she see?

 
At 16:39, Blogger Kay Richardson said...

I think Tom is dreamy.

 
At 20:49, Blogger Doug The Una said...

A. Spo, if I get the last line, that's brilliant.

 
At 10:16, Blogger tlm said...

Sponge Girl, dear, what is it with you and celebrity weddings where the groom is obviously queer? First Ryan/Reese, and now the unholy union of Tom/Katie (Katie's such a sweetheart! Run, girl, run!)... Are you on the Homo-Hollywood A-list or something?

(And, if so, can I be your date?)

 
At 17:08, Blogger Sponge Girl said...

MizB, I knew I could trust you to always look out for me. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing (ever wondered why J.Lo and Affleck never ended up getting married?).

seemingly sweet, I'm quite sad to report that there are no beer-goggles. Katie's just one misguided little princess. Kinda like Nicole used to be. So - now we wait.

monika, I have long since given up on the idea that young girls are simply naive when they choose dickheads as spouses. I have had to come to terms with the fact that some people are simply stupid.

kay, of course you do. But then again you are a pervert, so it's kind of expected. No offence, of course.

doug, ah - but do you get it?

tlm, sorry, I can't be your date. But I can get you a backstage pass, if you want.

 
At 17:53, Blogger Mirri said...

In this context 'backstage pass' just sounds dirty.

 
At 23:24, Blogger Sponge Girl said...

Dang, an' I thought I was being subtle. :-)

 
At 23:36, Blogger Doug The Una said...

Mirri, so does "Do you get it?"

 
At 23:53, Blogger Mirri said...

Well hell, even Mirri sounds dirty if ya know what it means =).

Dirty, dirty people eeeeeverywhere!!!

 
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