Friday, November 18, 2005

Sponge Girl Implicated in Weekend Punch-Up!

The literary world's sweetheart, Sponge Girl, whose forays into the worlds of both adult and children's fantasy writing have earnt her numerous awards and the respect and admiration of such literary luminaries as Andrei Makine and Salman Rushdie, has been named as the cause of the schocking fight scene at the Cannes film festival over the weekend.

The incident, now known as the "Gentlemen's argument" made headlines all around the world as Gabriel Byrne, Jeremy Irons and Alan Rickman - all known for their cool tempers and exquisite behaviour - began fighting in what was at the time thought to be a drunken brawl. It has since emerged that the well-respected actors were in fact attempting to take each other out of competition for a role in a film based on Sponge Girl's latest book. The film is to be directed by Tim Burton and will feature Sponge Girl in a minor part, with Kate Winslet taking the female lead.

Mr Irons was heard crying in an exlusive hospital, where he is being treated for two fractured ribs, explaining to what eye witnesses claim was a very angry wife, that "I only wanted to meet her!". The two other gentlemen involved in the incident, Byrne suffering a broken wrist and Rickman surviving relatively unscathed, have been known to make similar comments.

"I must say I can't blame them", commented Orlando Bloom, who witnessed the fight. "Of course I don't know her well, but in our brief meeting (at The Corpse Bride premiere) I must say I felt her to be a thoroughly enchanting girl, and well worth fighting for". Gael Garcia Bernal, also present, seemed to agree, but lapsed into such a passionate Spanish soliloqui it was impossible to discover his precise meaning.

Sponge Girl herself seemed thoroughly regretful about the incident. Returning from a dinner celebrating her fiance's fencing World Cup victory (full story on page 24), she wished all three a quick recovery. Smiling in her trademark charming fashion, the beautiful young woman did not comment on whether she would visit the quarrelling threesome to mend their relationship, though sources close to her believe "it is highly likely, given the immensely benevolent nature of that girl". -Reuters

2 Comments:

At 02:23, Blogger Kay Richardson said...

I'm always making men fight. And you know what? I love it.

 
At 13:00, Blogger Sponge Girl said...

Bet you do, you saucy devil. Keep up the good work.

 

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